Your Bable

I lost that connection. You're written off. Good bye.

Monday on a Tuesday

I don't want to be a friend who has to say sorry just because you're not in the right frame of mind.
I don't want to be a friend who has to bow down just because you think you're the only one having a tough time.
I don't want to be a friend who has to take all in just because I am always seen to be the stronger one.

In fact, just because i speak louder, am confrontational, and more willing to defend my stance - i am being seen as defensive and headstrong. If i don't protect what i believe is right, no one will.

In fact, I am disappointed that you could assume that i "assumed you're having a fine & dainty time". That was never part of the intention, nor did it even cross my mind. How could you?

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Like what they say, life has to go on.

My Bucket List

This is not a to-do list. It's a guideline of sorts - and it will change along the way. Life is about working with what you have and making the best out of everything you've. So, here is my humble little list - for me to recreate my own life. Baby steps, before it grows to 100.

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After much self-reflection, i realise no matter how much i love my friends, there are some emotions that no one can ever understand. Like the friend who assumes that she knows me and reads my text message the way she thinks she knows me, i am disappointed and yet, elated that i've proven myself right - no one will love and know me as much as I do.

So, i will live and care for myself first, before i want to go out of my way for others. Put simply, people don't remember the good and the not-so-bad bits that one has. Face it.

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1. Complete my degree

2. Live in a new city for at least 2 years, every other 5 years ideally until i find a city i truly love.

3. Fall in love

4. Watch the Niagara Falls

5. Visit South Africa for at least 2 weeks

6. Write a fictional book & have it published

7. Own at least $250,000 in cash by the time I turn 38. Let’s worry about the currency later. :)

8. Learn to drive

9. Be at my ideal weight before I turn 30

10. Have a photo exhibition of the people I love

11. Learn two new languages before I turn 40

12. Own my own place before I turn 36

13. Have a job that I truly enjoy [again] (after accomplishing point no. 1)

14. Start my own business (or have a sideline)

15. Cook really well and to own a signature dish

16. Have the courage to do a brazilian wax

17. Watch Oprah Winfrey LIVE

18. Learn how to dance tango

19. Visit Disneyland with the people I love

20. Visit Paris before I turn 30 (with my mother)

21. Be debt-free by the time I turn 32

22. Bring my parents for a holiday they’ll never forget

23. Make my own fruit preserves

24. Host a party for the people I love – just because.

25. Attend a yoga holiday every once a year when I am officially debt-free

26. Have a family portrait taken when the baby niece is due

27. Have dinner @ El Bulli, Rose (Spain)

28. Have dinner @ The French Laundry, California (U.S.A)

29. Write to my favourite Advanced PR teacher from Ngee Ann Poly at least once a year (just so that she won’t forget about me)

A perfect Wednesday

Only because i couldn't tell this to anyone who really cares to listen.

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It was 07:58hrs, 16 September 2009.

I have never left work that early. And i was even planning to take the public transport, instead of the private bus. I walked forward to a less crowded spot and i said a silent prayer as i always do in the morning.

"Dear Lord, please forgive me for my sins. I thank you for this day ~ let this day be good."

And then, a familiar car whoosed past.

I immediately reached into my bag to whip out my blackberry, with the intention to text a "good morning" to the driver of the familiar car which just past by me and instead, he was calling on the line. *beams*

"R.Y. I JUST SAW U! Walk on down and i will send u to work" - he didn't even wait for my reply and the line was hung up. I didn't mind.

I waited for a while until he appeared. As he was walking down towards his car, he looked more suave than i remember. Full of fatherly love towards his beautiful daughter. Full of manly charm. And he smells so good in the morning (not that he smells at any other times of the day) but in the morning, his scent was particularly pleasant.

The ride to work ended too soon.

Today, I will walk on my own

I hope you know that you make your own path. You choose the life you want to lead.

I choose to have a meaningful life - where i will do my bestest so that i can achieve more, go further and explore what this world has to offer.

Don't make me feel responsible for you. I do not owe you and neither do you own me. Yes, i love you but this love shouldn't trap me.

I thank you for everything - and i hope you're happy for me, because this is really what i want for myself.

xoxo