I've been in Melbourne for over a month now. I think what i really wanted when i first got here was to get a job, and i told myself, once i've a job, i'll be okay.
Now that I've a job, i am thinking about the exorbitant tuition fees of A$9.5k per semester and how I am going to manage that. I didn't plan much, as you can tell, i just know that I wanted to do this degree. Definitely not advisable.
So, that's like the constant worry that's eating into me. But i choose to believe that I can manage it somehow, one way or the other.
I can overcome, because I am working to make sure that I can sustain myself financially. I am watching how i spend and eat. I haven't shopped (except for groceries!). And i stretched every single dollar.
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I want to make this time here a time of self-rejuvenation. A time of self-discovery. I will be forgiving to myself, and I will not pine for what I do not have (even though i daydream a lot about the things that I don't have).
I realise the important of savings - and how i had frittered every single cent that i've made in the past 6 years, believing that if i die the next day, I will be satisfied that I've lived the life I wanted. Huge mistake too. :p
I will pray that I will be supported by this casual job, and I'll pray for guidance from above, to get to where I am supposed to be, and to be who I am meant to be.
I believe in the possibility of miracles, and the miracles of God.
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I miss my friends - I know that friendships can survive over different hemispheres and distances only if effort is made to connect. I sometimes imagine what would life be without these few people in my life, and it made me feel very empty. I didn't like that feeling.
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I do feel like I am fighting a battle sometimes - but this is perfect. It will mould me to be stronger, when i make my foray into other cities.
Keep close.
Be with me.
xoxo
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
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