Thursday, June 9, 2011

Letter to my baby niece

 Dearest Mikaela

I can't wait to see you soon.
Missing out on your growth was the hardest part for me.

All those videos I make of my shared moments with you?

Those were my coping mechanisms ~to stop the missing but it sometimes made me feel worst. I don't remember how life was before you.

Remember that occasion when a snotty little boy poked you in the eye at the playground?

OMG - in my anger and anxiety that you could be hurt, I wanted to crush the lil punk like a cockroach but because you were watching and maybe still in a state of shock, I didn't want you to see this ugly and cruel side of me.

So, I let that boy off but not without telling his parents and helper what an annoying and rude brat he was. You make me want to be a better person and I want nothing but the best for you.

All these time that I am alone here? I've been saving recipes to bake you gluten-free muffins, bread (you love bread, don't you?) and healthy soups. Oh, I need to save for an oven too. :) I can't wait to bake with u as my little helper.

I promise to not impose my expectations on you, for you're your own person. You will get my support in everything that you want to do. I promise to always listen before I speak.

Please always know that I am trying my best to be a better auntie to you.

I'll pray that you'll always be kind even when when you're angry; wise even when faced with temptations and strong even when you're faced with adversities.

Loving you muchly,
your auntie René

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Hello, I am glad to have met you.

Dear you,

23th March 2011 would have been the last time that our paths have crossed. I watched you with intense curiosity, and committed all the details of your face and expressions to memory, for I know that I will never see your face again. I feel your sadness even when you laugh. It must have been very lonely for you.

I want to let you know that I will keep you in my prayers. That you will find your way back to Him. That you will find what you're looking for, and succeed in keeping it close and alive within your being. That you will be the best that you can be, and more. That you will find the strength and determination to achieve what you've planned for in life. Life will sort itself out, and you too, will find a middle ground to grow.

I thank Him for letting our paths crossed. For without our paths crossing, I would have never known that I could feel hope and joy in meeting someone like you. Please don't feel embarrassed - what I am saying is, through you, I have a better grasp of what I could enjoy in a person. I have never felt like that before. Only through you did I feel that there's hope.

I will pray that you will find a soulmate who will bring out the best in you, and make you be the one that you want to be.

If our paths should cross again, I will look into your eyes and tell you, "Thank you, Mate. Wouldn't have made it without you".

Pigpower Me.