Thursday, June 9, 2011

Letter to my baby niece

 Dearest Mikaela

I can't wait to see you soon.
Missing out on your growth was the hardest part for me.

All those videos I make of my shared moments with you?

Those were my coping mechanisms ~to stop the missing but it sometimes made me feel worst. I don't remember how life was before you.

Remember that occasion when a snotty little boy poked you in the eye at the playground?

OMG - in my anger and anxiety that you could be hurt, I wanted to crush the lil punk like a cockroach but because you were watching and maybe still in a state of shock, I didn't want you to see this ugly and cruel side of me.

So, I let that boy off but not without telling his parents and helper what an annoying and rude brat he was. You make me want to be a better person and I want nothing but the best for you.

All these time that I am alone here? I've been saving recipes to bake you gluten-free muffins, bread (you love bread, don't you?) and healthy soups. Oh, I need to save for an oven too. :) I can't wait to bake with u as my little helper.

I promise to not impose my expectations on you, for you're your own person. You will get my support in everything that you want to do. I promise to always listen before I speak.

Please always know that I am trying my best to be a better auntie to you.

I'll pray that you'll always be kind even when when you're angry; wise even when faced with temptations and strong even when you're faced with adversities.

Loving you muchly,
your auntie René