Love and Sacrifice

Every day, i wake up wondering how am I going to ensure that I am going to make every waking hour matter, monetarily. It was a reaction that stemmed from the need for survival.

I was struggling between spending my Sundays working vs going for my faith formation class and having missed two classes, the onset of guilt didn't help. The saddest part? I wasn't even productive at work.

Last Sunday, I decided to go for the faith formation class - because, I have been very well-taken care of Him. I was struggling and I had no one to share this fear and uncertainty with - but Him.

I've asked for Providence and Strength ~ I've received Providence while I am still cultivating my reserves of Strength. I've received much grace, mercy and favour. Without these opportunities of employment during my time here, I cannot imagine how I would sustain myself till today.

I realised I was wasting my effort, by not being 100% present and contented with my decision.
Life's really not about the monetary aspects - it is my need to control and plan that is making my life difficult. It's a constant struggle to just let life unfolds by itself.

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Shared a conversation with Steph today, and it hit me that no matter how fortunate and well-off others may seem to be, there are constant struggles and battles that I may never know. I am (really) not alone.

She's so beautiful. I feel like I need to protect and guide her; like the sister I've never had. I hope our friendship will be able to grow.

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Every day that I wake up with my next breath is a blessing. I may lose this breath anytime, in my sleep ~ (considering how bad my snoring problem is!). So every day that I wake up alive deserves to be celebrated, with gratitude to my Maker. I ask for enough time to repay the love, trust and sacrifice that my loved ones have done for me. Enough time to honour my parents and celebrate my love for my friends and my life.

So, thank you. I appreciate your protection; allowing me to walk in your confidence and leaning onto your strength.

xx